babepi

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Quitting Instagram, my own strategy

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babepi | quitting Instagram

When Lush announced they would quit social media last year my first reaction was calm curiosity. Unlike many colleges I didn’t think it was simply a media stunt, nor that it would turn out to be a one-size-fits-all solution.

On the contrary, I followed what happened and I gathered intel, because I myself was contemplating the option to untie my marketing from social media.

In fact, over the past six months, I came to the decision to quit Instagram.

Quitting Instagram at this moment, when it’s wildly populated and popular feels counterproductive both if you have a business to promote and if you’re looking for a creative outlet online.

I came to my decision mainly for ethical reasons and based on past experience.

In 2017 I was off Instagram for ten months.

Entirely. I didn’t have an app installed on my phone, I wouldn’t browse the portal from the web, I wouldn’t post nor interact with other users. I can attest I survived.

Furthermore, aside from a period when I was dealing with health issues, during those ten months I continued to work, in fact rebuilding a brand from scratch, without any active Instagram profile or Facebook page until May 2018.

Clearly, this is not for everybody. But it’s feasible. Especially if our values no longer align with those of Facebook Inc.

I never thought “fighting with algorithms” or poor redemption on campaigns were valid reasons to disavow a social presence. At the end of the day, algorithms regulate any online interaction, and campaigns are rarely made successful by the channel alone.

However, Facebook Inc. has increasingly and unequivocally taken political and ethical stands that I don’t feel comfortable with.

The Cambridge Analytica case is but the tip of an iceberg built on a conspiracy of silence and questionable decisions during recent political events. During the lockdown, I started feeling increasingly uneasy about it. I wasn’t comfortable with sharing that much data with the company, at exploiting their tools to market my name, at advising clients on how to build strategies based on its resources. It was this discomfort that triggered my completion of this new website.

At the same time I resolved to plan a strategy to quit Instagram and Facebook at least with my brand.

I am not as naive as to think I will be able to entirely quit both channels shortly, precisely like I know I will never be able to go entirely zero waste. But I trust this is the right direction, and that I can do my best from now on to align my values and my practice on social media too.

How the transition will work

First of all, I have designed a marketing strategy heavily relying on proprietary channels such as my website, this blog, and my newsletters.

I began working on this strategy during last Summer, firstly planning regular website updates so that this platform will deliver fresh content on a regular basis.

Within this blog, I created a new category that will soon group more visual blog posts. These will replace my regular Instagram posting. I have planned to invest in having a custom theme designed in 2021 to better showcase this content, so that you can browse it as you would my Instagram grid.

My newsletters (mostly the Italian ones) are increasingly providing conversation-starting sparks, that are picked up by readers on email or in real life at events. I love this kind of exchange and it’s arguably the most important part of my marketing.

Next, I scheduled these changes, drafting a roadmap to quit my profiles.

I decided I will run one advertising campaign on Instagram and Facebook next Fall (it’s my first, with the babepi brand). In fact, it will be two campaigns servicing different goals.

During the months leading up to June 2021 I will post on Instagram to:

  • share some insights on themes I am passionate about;
  • show some behind the scenes from the La Fortezza cookbook that I am producing with Annette Joseph;
  • interact with people I admire, to foster connections that can move to LinkedIn or on email, and personal relationships that I can deepen live.

Ideally, I would like to quit Instagram during the summer of 2021. But realistically, 2020 messed so many plans that I will not be strict about this deadline.

Where will my social media efforts move to?

At the moment Pinterest is the social network that seems to both be aligned with my values and useful for my brand. I have been a user since 2012 and I have always reaped great benefits from a presence on it.

During the last months, I have gradually redirected the main focus of my profile to my current business goals, I have created custom templates for my fresh pins, and I have drafted an editorial plan.

Next on my planner is to gradually implement this editorial plan, heavily investing time in pin creation and scheduling. But also, hopefully launching campaigns next Spring.

What about you? Should you also quit Instagram?

Any strategic decision should be solely based on your business goals, values, and mission.

This also applies to my decision to quit Instagram. I decided to discuss it here for three reasons. I wanted to:

  1. explain to you the changes you will see on my profile in the next few months;
  2. make you my accountability partner on this, bounding me to deadlines that have been on paper only until now;
  3. offer you a different perspective on social media to make you aware of possibilities.

There is no social network that you should use regardless of your goals, values and mission. There are conscious choices that you can make to use a tool or not.

This is why I will not advise my clients to quit Instagram themselves. For most of them, this is still an unavoidable resource in terms of cost/benefit ratio. That being said, I will certainly make them aware of the implication of using this platform.

I might even go on using it myself, as a creative outlet, even though I plan to create a more personal visual blog.

But that is another story.

Cover photo by Lucrezia Carnelos/Unsplash.

Women I admire: Caroline Hirons

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Questa immagine ha l'attributo alt vuoto; il nome del file è babepi_carolinehirons-1024x538.jpg

Since I’ve had blogs I’ve always wanted to devote a series to profiling women I love unconditionally. Public figures, I mean, that anybody could look up to.

Before you ask, no, it’s not a duplicate of my ‘styling icon’ series, even though they also are all women. If that series is about professional profiles linked to the styling profession, this one is about females across the board of professions and personalities. The only common trait they have is that I feel for them that complex feeling that is half “ohmygod I love everything she does” and half “I want to die and come back as her”. In a word, this is a more frivolous series, and only occasionally professionally relevant.

Today’s post is the exception to the rule, because it’s devoted to Caroline Hirons, aka “the queen of beauty”.

In fact, a crucial reason why I (and thousand of others like me) love CH is because of her influencer role and how she plays it.

‘Influencer’ takes what I do and makes it about what I can do for a marketing team or brand. I’m a blogger/YouTuber. I have influence, but it’s not why I do what I do.

– Caroline Hirons, interview March 21, 2018

For starters, Caroline Hirons didn’t start in her profession to become an influencer. Quite simply she developed a passion for what she was doing (selling skincare), she trained for it, worked with it, and then naturally went on to open a blog, a YouTube channel, a Facebook group, and eventually an Instagram feed that could revive discontinued products and make them into bestsellers just because she mentions them.

Breathe. That was a handful, I know. But that’s the breathless feeling you get whenever she launches anything.

On May 1 she sold out her Spring kits in around an hour (featuring skincare products from some of the best brands globally, some of which were produced in a limited edition for the kit). Some 60 thousand kits went in 60 minutes distributed over half a day, because her well-prepared website would crash every other minute (with up to 100 thousand connections at a time). On May 4, when she announced discount codes from the same brands in the kit, most of the brands’ global e-commerce websites crashed in a matter of thirty minutes. Some of the brands ran out of the products included in the kit in a couple of days.

You cannot fake these metrics, and this is the kind of numbers you should ask a prospect influencer about when you’re considering working with them.

Not the number of Instagram followers they have (CH has just over 400 thousand, but she had around 300 thousand a few months ago). Then you should look at how they operate and at the kind of engagement they generate.

On the website of the agency representing her, Caroline Hirons is said to be “honest, informative and extremely helpful when distributing skincare advice”, and that’s not a marketing spiel. I personally have a history of DM on Instagram where I asked her for advice and she answered, always in person (her dry and assertive style is pretty unmistakeable).

The same kind of interaction happens in comments on her social media posts and during her lives. Again, you cannot fake this kind of interaction with numbers, nor numbers can adequately describe it.

The reasons why I love Caroline Hirons and why you should go check her out now if you don’t follow her already, are also a large contribution to the engagement she generates.

Assertive competence

Many women are tremendously competent about what they do, or about their passion, but they convey that either with arrogant self-centredness, or fake humbleness, or self-deprecation. Instead, CH states what she knows without frills or embellishments, with assertiveness and a clear sense of purpose. In short she puts her competence to use to help people and to provide advice and guidance.

I’m sure this has to do with how she acquired that competence. She naturally transitioned from selling beauty products in real life (at beauty counters) to consulting brands on how to best sell their products, then moving onto effectively selling beauty through the Internet. It took her twenty years to get there, and before that, she had trained, tried, worked for the industry she influences about.

That level of competence cannot be faked. It provides a consistent stance on the topic at hand that maybe won’t register immediately with fans, but over time it will get traction. Some wannabe influencers don’t realize that talking about every product they are submitted as if it was their favorite, relaying the spiel they’ve been fed by the brand, makes them much less impactful and more interchangeable over time.

In terms of working with bloggers in a sponsored situation, it works best if you leave the script at home and let the blogger advise on what will work. We know our reader/viewer better than anyone. And brands that won’t listen/think they know better are best avoided, no matter how much money they wave in front of you. The reader comes first.

– Caroline Hirons, interview March 21, 2018

It’s not just a matter of credibility (as I said, I doubt most fans give it enough attention to notice), it’s definitely more about relevance and impact.

Strong opinions

If you’ve never heard Caroline Hirons rage against novaxxers you’re missing out. But even if you don’t agree with her opinion you can appreciate her coherence and the strength of her beliefs.

Coherence leads her to turn down collaborations and to publically state she had changed opinion on a product or brand, generating backlash (as it happened recently with Drunk Elephant) as well as waves of support.

I can’t give specific brand examples, that would be beyond unprofessional, but I am asked to endorse products that I don’t use all the time. We all are. It may be turning down a fortune but it’s not worth your reputation with your reader.

– Caroline Hirons, interview March 21, 2018

This level of integrity conveys substance to any statement Caroline Hirons make. I’m not the only one trusting her as the sole source of information on how to care for my skin (check with Francesca Marano and Daniela Scapoli).

Self-awareness

What makes it even more natural to trust Caroline Hirons is the frequencey with which she shows awareness of her role and of her impact. And of the consequences of her actions.

She constantly warns her followers not to “credit card their skincare”, and she always provides alternatives in any price range for the products she mentions and promotes. Furthermore, she uses her influence to affect change. Like at the beginning of the pandemic, when she was very vocal about calling out retailers for laying off employees or for keeping them home without pay.

It’s not common to find that level of self-awareness, but I believe it’s the mark of true greatness.

So yes, I will die happy if I can have an inch of that greatness when I get her age (in seven years). I know, it’s impossible, but a woman can dream.

How to shape a new in-store experience for your customers

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Questa immagine ha l'attributo alt vuoto; il nome del file è babepi_experience-1024x538.jpg

I came up with the idea for this post on a rare outing during the lockdown. Before you rage at me, I was out grocery and meds shopping for my 74-year-old mother, I was wearing a mask and gloves, and keeping a good two meters away from anybody else.

Walking in the city center when shops are closed always ignites musings in me, even on a regular Sunday. I think it’s because I tend to notice shop windows more, and I also have time to explore my own sense of loss and to think of the reasons why I would go in a store rather than the other. At this pandemic time, the same musings took a different angle.

What could you change in your store to allow your customers to experience it differently?

As I was walking along deserted streets, shop windows seemed a bit banal and altogether I missed opportunity, I felt an urge to enter the smaller shops to rearrange them according to social distancing, and so on. Since we’re getting nearer to the time when shops will at least partially reopen, I thought those musings could come useful to some of you.

I only kept ideas that could be implemented without any investment, and by using what you already have, especially your time and the relationship you have built with your customers.

Style your windows so they can speak for you when the store is closed

Start thinking about your shop window as you would have programmed your answering machine a few years back, use your voice, provide useful information, with your usual tone (whether it’s formal or quirky).

Your store window, now on more than any other time, should not simply display your seasonal stock (that people could find elsewhere), but it should house:

  • a carefully curated selection;
  • items chosen from your customer’s go-to purchases, and items that are eponymous with your store;
  • items that are bound to better satisfy the needs your customers feel now.

If you sell skincare, for example, display your best hand creams, and face masks and moisturizers. Dehydration is one of the worse ways lockdown affects our skin.

Don’t crowd your shop window with the products you want to sell but that customers are not currently interested in. If you really must, display those at check-out as a complement for your primary products. For example, if you sell jewelry (real or costume), people will be more inclined to buy items that can be seen during a video call, like earrings and necklaces. Display rings at check out, and offer them to customers who bought hand cream, as a finishing touch to their pampering but make sure they’re made of materials unaffected by cosmetics.

If you were used to writing price tags by hand, maybe with a personal, hardly readable handwriting, this is the time to go the print route or block writing, and to display them right next to the item they refer to. Avoid listing all the prices in a tiny sheet hidden in a corner of the window.

Finally, create a neat sign with graphics coordinated with your brand (Canva.com has great options), listing a few simple rules for accessing your store. Make sure to add a link that people queuing can view while waiting. It could lead them to your Instagram profile, or to Shopify e-commerce you’ve set up during lockdown, maybe one where they can shop and pick up in-store. This way, even those in a hurry will be able to buy from you, without entering the store and arranging for a later pick-up instead.

Arrange for customers to visit by appointment

Especially if your shop is small, customers will not be able to visit exactly as before. Depending on the size of your space you might need to allow one person in at a time, while the rest will need to queue outside.

How can you organize this in a way that doesn’t penalize your most faithful customers? First of all you could grant them priority access. If you have their contact information (even just their Instagram handle), reach out with a message including:

  • a genuine request after their well-being; it’s a great way to re-establish a connection, plus it could lead to asking them “I know you’ve had other things on your mind, but is there anything you have missed from my store and that you would like me to set aside for you?”
  • information about reopening, including times and days, and how to access your store;
  • the possibility to book an appointment, at the time most convenient for them, if they were thinking of visiting, so they can skip the queue.

Once you have reached out to your best customers, you can announce the possibility to book an appointment on your website and all your other channels. Including your newsletter, but you might want to do it there first, while you’re still calling your customers, this way people who receive the newsletter will still feel its value as an access point to exclusive offers.

Your announcement should clarify whether you will be welcoming customers by appointment only (I wouldn’t do that), or if people will also be able to visit you directly, but in that case, they should be warned of potential waiting times. As you will start reopening and experiencing this new way of work, keep track of average visiting times so that you can better warn your customers of waiting times, on your website, your channels, and the sign in your store window.

If people (understandably) tend to linger just for a chat, set a gracious timer for their visit. Explain it to them and seek their collaboration, pick a fun song to mark the end of their allotted time, and if you can and are willing to, allow them to book another visit at a quieter time for more chats.

Finally, if you have pavement space or a parking lot under your control, arrange for a few seats to make the queue more pleasant.

Build on the one-on-one experience, as if you were a personal shopper

Making do with limitations is my favorite approach to hurdles and change- Much better than whining and despairing over things beyond our control don’t you think?

My making do of reduced store accessibility would be to turn any visit in an appointment with a personal shopper. At the end of the day you don’t need much:

  • submit a shortlist of questions to anybody booking an appointment; ask them what they hope to purchase, what kind of need they’re trying to fulfill, how much they intend to spend, what are their likes and dislikes. Ask the same questions to any visiting customer, show them a genuine interest in helping them;
  • arrange for an area of the store where customers will be able to sit and peruse a selection of items you’ve prepared for them according to their answers; take the time to illustrate how each item is the right fit for them, then leave them alone to evaluate their purchase;
  • bring a thermal bag to your store with a bottle of bubbly and single-use cups, and offer your customer a glass of white to go with their experience.

This idea works best if you have a wide array of stock that could disorient your customer, but it will work if you’re willing to step in their shoes and arrange for a selection of items that they truly desire and need. And if you make them feel taken care of.

Never before, now and in the following months, customers will come to you looking for what they truly missed: human touch, attention, and service.

How to survive this global pandemic

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Questa immagine ha l'attributo alt vuoto; il nome del file è babepi_survive-1024x538.jpg

I honestly thought I would refrain from writing yet another personalistic blog post about “life at the time of Covid-19”. Then Kelli Lamb asked me to write a post for her personal blog, and since she’s the editor in chief of my favorite online interior magazine… I couldn’t tell her no. Then I realized I was posting on Instagram about the life we’re leading at home, and it quickly escalated from there.

This blog post doesn’t provide a unique and fool-proof way to come out of lockdown with a sound mind, fit and recharged, nor it lists ten steps (I’m too busy surviving to come up with anything truly SEO-friendly).

On the other hand this is a list of things you could do in order to survive.

It starts from here.

‘Survival’ is the key.

This is a time when our wellbeing is under attack:

  1. physically, because we’re just at the beginning of a global pandemic that will last until 70% of the population will be immunized by vaccination, which realistically won’t happen for another 18 months;
  2. economically, the sudden global economic downturn has already affected the world, and the situation will stay bad for a while;
  3. psychologically, the uncertainty of our future, fear for our own well-being and the safety of our loved ones, a long period of social distancing are our travel pal, and they will stick with us for months.

In a nutshell: hand me the vodka bottle.

Within this context there is not point in setting lofty goals to achieve, because regardless of the commitment and effort we’ll put into it, life will probably keep on giving us the finger.

So, personally, I lowered my expectations to the bare minimum: surviging, breathing, eating, sleeping, etc. Incidentally this means I feel like a goddess whenever I accomplish anything!

Just to be clear, I’m not advocating for idleness (although there’s nothing wrong with it), I’m rather proposing that we should be very very generous with ourselves, and be even more mindful of expectations. Both ours, and other people’s ones.

The same goes for work. If your clients or your employers expect you to do the impossible at this time… defend yourself the best you can).

If you are self-employed, try to focus your little energy and resources on keeping it alive. It might mean pivoting your business, but mostly it’s about cutting operations to the bone in order to be sure you can perform them at your personal best. This way you ensure you leave a good memory to your customers… or certainly better then those businesses that decided to build whole e-commerce from scratch during a pandemic then they can’t keep up with logistics.

Routines save your life.

They’re not glamorous, they are seldom fun, they require time to catch. But they truly save your life.

Again, this works for both people and businesses.

Routines trick people into a false sense of security and control. If you’re doing the same things day in and day out, you can pretty much predict what’s going to happen today, which eliminates the paralizing uncertainty regarding your immediate future. Even if we don’t know for sure when this pandemic will be over, we can control what time we’ll wake up tomorrow, what we’ll eat for breakfast, what we will wear, and so on.

The more simple, natural for you to do, and pleasant a routine is, the easier you’ll get used to it. And yet conquering a routine provides an accessible success that will make you feel like you’re actually in control of your life.

For business, routines are about enforcing good systems (from order management to sanitizing procedures and safety measures) while reducing costs and the opportunity for mistakes.

Socialize less but socialize better

Humanity doesn’t perform that pleasantly under pressure, regardless of how many flashmobs and donations are publically arranged. Since social networks are a stage for humanity it shouldn’t come as a surprise that they aren’t very nice places to frequent at this time.

Personally, I find harder to deal with those channels that rely on words, because they welcome opinions. I find that reading them doesn’t help me cope with what’s going on, and it provokes extreme reactions in me.

The types of post that would lead me straight to alcohol poisoning (if I hadn’t stopped going into Twitter and Facebook) are the following ones:

  • complaints by teachers about what is expected of them;
  • obnoxious commentary on any Government pronouncement, and on any opinion about it. Nothing is ever good enough, even if nobody has any idea what good enough would look like;
  • posts by people who aren’t parents, mocking parents because they’re going crazy at home with their kids (apparently it’s because we raised brats, not because any kid would go nuts if she went without socializing or outdoor time for months);
  • pretentious posts (but I couldn’t stand them before either);
  • posts exposing anybody violating social distancing. Get a life;
  • every “it’s going to be alright” post. First of all, not everything is going to be alright, and spreading this false optimism is going to giving people an alibi not to be proactive. The way I see it, things will go according to what we do, not according to a predetermined happy ending;
  • every post calling phase 2, a “new beginning” or “freedom”, etc.

By all means, if writing and reading these posts is helping you feel better, don’t make me stop you. You do you. But be aware of any signal from your psyche, because you don’t want to snap at a loved one you’re living with just because of something a stranger wrote.

Also, now it’s the time to find yourself, somebody, you like to have in your life, even just as a friend, and to spend more time talking with them about things you’re both passionate about.

It’s great to do good, but try not to harm yourself.

Let’s just say it’s not super-smart to extinguish your funds to support the businesses you love if that leaves you without money to pay the bills.

The same goes for emotional resources. They’re not unlimited so try to ration them, rather than extinguishing them on endless phone calls with people who’re in need of psychological support. You won’t realize it at first but they might drain you.

Once the communal feeling ‘we are all in this together’ fades, it’s time to take stock of the material and immaterial resources you have and need to navigate this crisis, then pace yourself as you spend them.

It’s not being selfish, it’s surviving.

Photo by John Cameron/Unsplash.

10 marketing actions for brick and mortar stores

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I inaugurated 2020 in Georgia, United States. AmericasMart had invited Annette and me to talk to the visitors of their January Atlanta Market.

Our event was on January 16 and you can read Annette’s reportage on her blog (and see my pictures from that trip on Instagram in my Highlights). I thought that a time of lockdown it would be useful to revise the content of our talk.

Ten simple tips for brick and mortar shops, to stay relevant online in 2020

The tips below are grounded in Annette’s experience working with brands and stores, in our common editorial background, as well as in my marketing expertise. Finally, we were lucky enough to have our friend Kelli Lamb, editor in chief of online magazine Rue, to moderate the lively conversation with the audience in Atlanta.

We structured our talk to address mostly owners and buyers of independent stores specializing in interior, decoration, and gifts, so you will not relate to this content if you own an e-commerce or if your shop is part of a chain.

I must preface by saying that looking back over my notes now, I am very proud of the advice we came up with, that it is still valid and useful. I hope that this could help your store weather the Covid-19 storm over the next months. More down the line, I will publish another article focused on the customer experience in-store, with more practical advice for a pandemic season.

1. Make peace with constant change

Atlanta Market 2020 Talk - 1 cambiamento

No matter the business model, you have to contend with accelerated change in any market, nowadays. There is no point in coming up with a model that you plan to keep unchanged for years. The sooner you make peace with this, the better you will be prepared to face change rather than surrender to it.

2. Find your niche

Atlanta Market 2020 Talk - 2 nicchia

You must have heard this a milion times, but it’s always worth repeating if there are still businesses and stores trying to please everyone. Customers want to feel like they walk into a space concieved for them.

Furthermore, once you define your niche you will be able to get to work on authentic communication suitable for that public. Your voice is precisely the combination of the tone, register, and content that speak of your customer, far before they speak at her.

3. Apply your style to your brand

Atlanta Market 2020 Talk - 3 marchio

Your business idea will influence your store style, and it is imperative it shows on your brand. That is the fastest way to be found and recognized by the right audience.

Clearly a brand is more than just your logo. Your store signage, the color you picked for its walls, the way you styled your merchandise, your packaging, must all tell the same story, in order to be effective.

4. Think like a concept store

Atlanta Market 2020 Talk - 4 concept

In the world of lifestyle, a store selling just one category of merchandise is missing opportunities.

It’s a complex topic, and it would need pages and hours to fully be explored, but to cut it very short, the experience is a decisive factor in a world where most products can be bought online at a cheaper price. But experiencing is about all our senses, and it plays on different neurological connections, thus it cannot be bound to just one product category.

5. Curate your space to create a memorable experience

Atlanta Market 2020 Talk - 5 spazio

It is vital that your customer has a memorable experience in store, if you want her to come back and not to buy online next what she bought from you. The first element of this that you can shape is your store space.

Design your store with your customer’s experience in mind, trying to make it as seamless, pleasant, and satisfactory as possible. Focus points might vary according to the merchandise you sell, but reception, hang our, payment, and packaging/delivery are always crucial.

6. Style your merchandise with Instagram in mind

Atlanta Market 2020 Talk - 6 allestimento

Even before thinking of a digital marketing budget, you should design a store that your customer wants to photograph and display on their Instagram feed.

Arrange products in appealing vignettes and make sure stock storage is nice to look at as well as well organized. Next, let your customer know they are welcome to take pictures and share them; make it easy for them by displaying signs granting permission and providing your tag. Then thank them, they are advertising you to your target audience.

7. Use Instagram as an e-commerce

Atlanta Market 2020 Talk - 7 vendere su Instagram

Since your customers are already advertising you on Instagram, make it super simple for their followers to buy the products they fall in love with!

Use the Catalogue feature provided by Facebook/Instagram to create a ‘Shop Window’ feature with product sheets displaying neat pictures. Then animate your own feed with inspirational images of your products seen in action, and tag them!

8. Craft a seamless experience

Atlanta Market 2020 Talk - 8 esperienza

The easier it is for your customers to shop with you, the better. So stop forcing them to come to you when they need to restock their favorite candle! Instead, invite them to visit when you have something new to see, just for them.

To do this, you need to create an omni-channel experience beginning in store, but continuing online and with delivery.

9. New shopping experiences

Atlanta Market 2020 Talk - 9 esperienza

The bottom line is, you need to create new shopping experiences that fulfill your customers’ needs. Membership and loyalty programs should provide you useful data to better serve your customers, reminding them only of new arrivals they will absolutely adore, and allowing them to better spend their money.

Coming up with subscription programs to your customer’s favorite products (candles, skincare, stationery), better even if they’re scheduled to be delivered to them around the time they might run out of them, will make them loyal to you.

10. Welcome your customers back

Atlanta Market 2020 Talk - 10 benvenuto

Finally, as soon as it’s possible, open up your store to unique and truly engaging events. Give your customer a reason to come back to visit you, beyond seeing what new products you have.

What do you think of this advice? Do you own a store? Have you tried doing any of this already? If you feel like it, DM me on Instagram to tell me about it.

What I mean when I say Lifestyle Design

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Once upon a time in a faraway galaxy, I used to plan and style destination weddings for a living. Then I had a burnout episode. My business model was utterly personal and yet not entirely viable, psychologically speaking. As I sometimes do, I hadn’t entirely followed my own advice.

Three years later, I still haven’t made up for all my mistakes, but I am confident I have finally designed myself a viable lifestyle, and one that fosters well-being. The word choice behind ‘lifestyle’ and ‘designing’ is entirely purposeful, as I feel ‘organization’, ‘life’, ‘work’ can be limiting concepts, taken by themselves.

This post is where I take the time to explain what I mean by “designing a lifestyle”.

I came up with the ‘lifestyle design’ definition back in 2016, to market a series of personal consultancies revolving around strategy and organization. The service was built off my planning skills, my knowledge of organization and strategy tools, and my stance, steadily on my clients’ side.

These consultancies allowed me to lend my expertise, capacities, and approach to those women who couldn’t seem to build a life aligned with their identities and their aspirations, without being influenced by outside expectations.

Why lifestyle design

I immediately embraced the concept of lifestyle design for a number of reasons.

First of all, work is not necessarily central to a lifestyle.

I find the idea that work defines our lives culturally biased. Not everybody has aspirations to build their lives around a career.

When Dave Evans and Bill Burnett created the Designing your life method they used the term ‘life’, but they were actually focusing on helping people find a professional vocation that would ultimately allow them to achieve a ‘joyful and well-lived life’. Life was the by-product, not the focus.

But what if I wanted to build my life around a different vocation, something not work-related? What about people who choose to accept a menial job just to get an income to finance their free time and more personal passions? Do Evans and Burnett think that a bus driver could not achieve a ‘joyous and well-lived life’?

The idea that the quality of everybody’s life should be determined by their choice of profession and work is not only culturally biased, but it’s also very typical in Northern American US culture. I for one don’t identify with it. I personally think we are more defined but who we are than but what we do. I personally think that even people who legitimately built their lives around their careers (and accordingly they would benefit from Evans and Burnett’s method) did so because of a choice stemming from their identity.

But contrary to what Evans and Burnett (and generations of North American motivators) seem to think, the job we choose cannot always be determined by our vocation and motivation alone. Our choice is always determined by a variety of factors, like chance and opportunity (which are sadly not equally available), by the choices other people made for us, by our gender, the color of our skin, our accent. And the list goes on.

There is something that can be exempt from this outside influence, if we try, something less determined by chance, timing and other people’s choices. And that’s our identity, who we are.

When I say ‘lifestyle’ I mean the application of our identity to our life.

The choice we make to try and live a life aligned with our identity, the purpose we find in life, the people whose company we decide to keep, the way we employ our time; all of these decisions can be entirely ours, regardless of the work we do.

So why don’t I simply use the word ‘life’, but I chose ‘lifestyle’ instead? Because unlike our choices and decisions, the life we live is not exclusively influenced by our will. We are not traveling to time and place in an enclosed tunnel, we’re more weaving in and out of viscous ecosystems, where the tiny choice of a toddler on the other side of the world could have an impact on what happens to us.

It is arrogant and irrealistic to think that we could willfully and completely shape our lives. I think our time is much better spent focusing on shaping the style we’d like our lives to have, the broad design of its picture. Focusing on the direction we want to wander towards, rather than expecting to pick every single stop on the journey, allows us to stay flexible during its course, thus being more reactive to unforeseen changes.

In 2016 I didn’t know about Evans and Burnett, because their book was still relatively unknown in Italy, but I chose the verb ‘design’ very purposefully none the less.

By ‘design’ I don’t mean a method, I’m not suggesting to apply design thinking to the creating or a lifestyle. Mainly because I feel like there is never one method that fits all, precisely as there is no one right way to learn any skill or art.

To me, designing is an approach.

Designing is drawing the outlines of an existence that will make us feel fulfilled, creating a blueprint within which to move more assuredly, free from the blank page panic that often leads to us turn back towards the past rather than facing the future.

I always thought writing was a great metaphor for lifestyle, so I found serendipitous this quote about outlining by Laura Carrada:

The secret to avoid anxiety and white page panic is… not to have a white page in front of you. Fill it with your journey plan, one that you will refine and rework as you go. It won’t limit your freedom, on the contrary it will free you of many a qualms.

– Luisa Carrada, Scrivere, che bello!

An approach for females only

As I did introducing lifestyly design in 2016, so today I am considering a consultancy for female clients only. It’s not a matter of positioning and target, but a choice based on the belief that the people who need guidance in this matter more are females. Women by birth or by choice alike.

The world weights down female humans with expectations and a heavy gaze, if anything because of that pesky biological detail that places the responsibility of procreation on our bodies. Women’s bodies have been a battlefield since the dawn of time.

It’s a gender issue, and for a woman to purposefully design her own lifestyle is a political act, precisely because we’re often expected to have nothing to design, but simply to choose if we want to breed or not. And even that choice is often taken from us.

To offer this kind of consultancy only to women means not to place more responsibility on them to keep a balance. On the contrary it’s a way to even the field, to provide tools to make more informed choices and decisions without being influenced by the expectations, the opinions and the demands of everybody else.

Over the past here I have resumed lifestyle consultancies, and they will be available to book from my website. I hope this post clarified what’s behind a seemingly meaningless definition. More than anything, I would like it to be crystal clear what lifestyle design is not.

Lifestyle designing is not coaching, nor therapy, nor a personal organization service

It’s not coaching, because there is no hierarchy between a consultant (me) and a coachee.

Every analysis, answer, decision, and choice coming out of a lifestyle designing consultancy is entirely produced by the person whose life is the focus. My role is to provide tools, looking for them if need be, to provide questions and a sounding board.

Could you do it alone? By all means, yes! I didn’t invent the tools and questions involved in the process. My personal contribution is my ability to effectively listen while withdrawing judgment and biases. ‘Anything goes’ is my guiding principle.

It’s not therapy because it doesn’t involve solving or treating imbalances, mental issues, uneasiness, and it doesn’t delve with the unconscious.

Designing is a very active and intentional process. It might draw on thoughts, emotions, desires, but its work affect the physical reality around us. It’s not about working on the self, but on manifestations of that self.

Do you need therapy? If you asked me, even without knowing you, my answer would always be yes. I think everybody would benefit from therapy, if they can afford it, and have the time and energy to allow it.

It’s not a personal organization service because it doesn’t necessarily start from a point of disorganization. It’s not about applying a system to sort through the mess.

Lifestyle design is useful to very organized women as well as to unorganized women. It could be repeated multiple times during one’s life, because we might grow out of our choices, or some vital circumstances might change.

Does it teach you to be organized? It could, but that’s incidental. Organization is one of the tools it relies on, but only if your path needs it. After all, consultancies always mold around the focus and the specific needs of the person who’s being consulted.

I hope this was clear and easy to understand. If you have any more questions, please ask away!

Feminism, sisterhood and female solidarity

da

Tiny disclaimer: I began writing this post in 2019 and worked on it in February 2020, as I’d intended. But it wasn’t finished until April 15, 2020. You find it with a February date because I wanted it to belong to that time before a Global Pandemic hit. In those days, this is what I was thinking about. Also, it’s a rant. If you’re looking for something more proactive, please Google Translate C+B, the collaborative project I co-founded in 2013.

It’s February, March will roll over in 10 minutes and we will find ourselves at war. Between women who’d rather be remembered for 364 days than celebrated for one day only, men who’re unsure whether to buy flowers or cower from rebuke, other women seeking to mindlessly celebrate with acquaintances because they were too busy to develop real girl-friendships.

Despite my usual existential optimism, gender issues tend to bring out a nihilistic approach from me; I’d been meaning to write about on the blog for two years.

Specifically, I wanted to discuss three things that are often mistakenly superimposted, and yet they are seldom exercised at once, feminism, sisterhood and female solidarity.

This boggles my mind.

The way my teenage self thought about it, this is the way: every woman should be a feminist by definition, and any feminist woman should aim to reach equality for her whole gender; as a natural consequence she should feel part of a group of peers (a sisterhood), and she should show solidarity for every other woman, providing her help and support.

Then I grew up, I went into the working world, and I found out that some women who are loudly proudly claiming to be feminists are actually fighting for their own equality, not necessarily for the equality of treatment of all women.

I discovered that some women achieve manager positions by pretending not to be a woman, as if they were ashamed of their gender, choosing instead to act like men and making sure no other woman will have the same opportunities they had. As if they thought their success was just a product of some token positioning, so any other woman could usurp it. I was enraged by these examples, and at the same time, I pitied the women who could not shake such an impostor syndrome and own their own well-deserved success.

I attended some Women Entrepreneurs meetings and listened to female entrepreneurs discussing maternity leave and their female employees not differently from what men would have done. I kept a guilty silence (silence is always guilty when an injustice is witnessed, this I know), but I was mostly sad for the opportunity smart women lost to make a difference.

Then Instagram came. On this platform you could be a small influencer and at once find yourself sleeping with a good friend’s boyfriend (after she’d invited you into her home, to support you). I’m told these are things that can happen to anybody, but in the spirit of the sisterhood, you could at least come clean to your friend as soon as you felt the urge to go through with it. You could at least apologize, and feel like shit. On Instagram, instead, you go on to post endlessly about feminism, about your lofty values, you gather the praise of fans who look up to you as a muse while leaving it to that spineless douche who’s your friend’s boyfriend to come clean. Your conscience was washed cleaned by posting about feminism anyway.

The very specific story above is real. It happened last year to people I know. When I scheduled this post idea I meant to write the full names of the people involved for two reasons:

  1. first of all, I find it appalling that anybody can profit from a fake moral image. The woman who slept with her friend’s boyfriend runs a business where here personal values are central to her value proposition. Those personal values are a hoax;
  2. secondly, I believe silence is guilty, not stating that what’d happened was wrong made me feel physically ill. As if by not pointing my finger I had become an accomplice.

But there are no names in this blog post because at the end of the day I realized the link between feminism, sisterhood, and female solidarity had a resonance. And the spineless douche boyfriend would have suffered no consequence of being exposed.

If being a feminist means to fight for equal opportunities; if sisterhood is about feeling like all women are on the same boat; if female solidarity manifests itself in lending a hand when another woman stumbles, staying by her side to help her fend off attacks, and helping her climb with us.

If these three things are intertwined (and I think they are), this blog post was an opportunity to remind us of it, and to try and forget all of those times we were meant to say “I’d rather work/spend time with men. At least I know how to defend myself.”

Finally, I would like us to remember that claiming to be a feminist, then disregarding sisterhood and female solidarity, is an empty claim.

That woman who’s walking around with her fake moral will have to face her own conscience. To herself she’ll have to explain not so much how she fell for her friend’s partner (it happens), but why she didn’t have the courage and sensibility to face the music like a woman, rather than like a man.

Cover photo by Becca Tapert/Unsplash.

Annette Joseph, styling icon

da

When I resumed blogging for myself I made a not that I wanted to talk about my styling icons, stylists, and art directors I admire and look up to for inspiration and guidance. They’re all women, some near some far, some I’ve had the honor to get to know personally.

Then there’s Annette Joseph, who not only became a close friend and somebody I can collaborate with on special projects, but also a lady I discovered a peculiar personal affinity with.

ph. Infraordinario

This article tells the story of how I work with Annette, and what you can learn from her and our common experience.

These are not styling tips, but veritable life lessons that have come to support my approach to creative projects. This is why I thought they would be valuable for anybody who wants to do a creative job.

I started following Annette on Instagram around 2015, after having re-read an old post on Design*Sponge that showcased her Alassio apartment, and another one about the interiors she’d designed for Gwyneth Paltrow. Up until that moment I’d known of Annette mostly as an entertainment stylist and creative producer, but I found myself loving her versatile approach and somewhat recognizing style choices I would have similarly made. And that is why I started following her more closely.

Follow creative professionals you feel in tune with, regardless of how many followers they have or of their fame.

– Barbara Pederzini

In the summer of 2016, Annette began renovations of her new Italian home, La Fortezza. Only recently I’d witnessed a couple of clients of mine bought a dilapidated building in the Modena hills only to find out later it was inhabitable. So when I saw she was dealing with what looked like similar complications I did what I normally do when I have a chance: I reached out with informative advice. Not the annoying kind (“why didn’t you do this?!”), but the gracious and truly helpful kind (“I love what you’re doing! You probably already know, but you might want to do this”). Annette replied with her email and an invitation to keep in touch since we have similar professions and Modena is reasonably near to Fivizzano.

If you decide to reach out to somebody you admire, do so providing something useful without expecting anything in return. You shouldn’t care about immediate rewards but about building a relationship.

– Barbara Pederzini

In the spring of 2018, the first pictures of the renovated Fortezza appeared on Annette’s feed, and they were gorgeous. So I went to Giusi Silighini (editor in chief of CasaFacile, back then) and suggested we should try and get an exclusive for the first print feature of the completed compound. When Giusi agreed, I involved Chiara Battistini and Sara Guarracino (Infraordinario), with whom we’d long discussed tackling an original interiors project. It was thus as a producer that I wrote to Annette submitting our proposal.

ph. Infraordinario

A few weeks ago we were discussing random proposals with Annette, and she told me about the frustration of getting general requests for collaboration. “Honestly nothing turns me off more than a long and rambling email, I won’t read it. Five sentences should be enough to do an introduction and ask your question,” said Annette. Also, people often seem to expect her to come up with the idea for the collaborative project. Anybody who has a creative job and some visibility is likely to receive this kind of generic proposals… and knows how often they end up being off-putting rather than inspiring.

For me, everything is about being on-brand these days. If I am approached by a company to sell products it has to be on-brand for me otherwise it is a no. At the end of the day, I have to love the look, the feel and the vision of the product to be inspired.

– Annette Joseph

And the same works for collaborative projects.

Beyond the way I submitted my proposal to Annette, the project had two key elements that I later discovered were perfectly aligned with her approach. In hindsight, the fact that we saw something of ourselves in each others’ work approach was part of the reason why we bonded so quickly.

A project at once entertaining and inspiring

From the start, I was drawn to Annette’s La Fortezza because it combined interior decor features I love with an approach to styling that I think can be inspiring to anybody.

On the one hand, my personal creative affinity with Annette made it easier to work with the interiors, and it allowed me to elaborate more freely on it, while not altering its identity. It is not always possible to get this scope: “I think we have a very similar point of view, it’s why we bonded instantly. Like a creative soulmate thing. Your smart approach to projects always inspires me. Although we are alike, there is enough of a difference to make it interesting,” said Annette.

That being said, La Fortezza in itself is a unique project, packed with decor ideas easy to replicate on a smaller scale. That made the story interesting for any audience.

As a stylist, you are hired to bring your inspiration to a project, while supporting the story.

– Annette Joseph

A supportive network with shared goals

The second element grounding our La Fortezza shoot was the team behind it. I’ve been making a habit of keeping track of creatives I admire and want to work with over time so that when I happen upon a project, I already have a wishlist of collaborators in mind that could benefit from it, and be comfortable with it.

The concept of a supportive collaborating network, even if it’s just on paper, in the beginning, and the approach of looking at prospect projects as opportunities for all parties involved to shine is about economy of resources for me. And yet it makes working on projects that much easier.

That being said, “the truth is sometimes clients are challenging,” as Annette said to me more than once. But when someone on the extended team is not your favorite person in the world, you should welcome the challenge.

It is easy to work with like-minded people, it is a true success making people that are not like-minded to come over to your point of view or come to a compromise. It takes tact, understanding, and lots of insight and good communication. After all a stylist, in the end, understands how to communicate.

– Annette Joseph
ph. Infraordinario

Own it and work it

Spending time with Annette, and working alongside her, teaches me something new every time. But the most impactful insight I had from her was to stop doubting myself and to channel my energies into owning my talents and working them. There will always be a new skill to learn, something new to practise, ways to perfect my style and abilities. But I am talented as I am, and I can become even better if I embrace that as I work.

That’s why whenever I have an idea these days, I immediately reach down to somebody I want to make it happen with. It doesn’t matter if that person is much more successful than I am, or if their collaboration seems unattainable. And if it’s a solo project I immediately jump on strategizing to make it happen or to schedule it.

If the project doesn’t work out I move on, I don’t consider it a failure but just a stepping stone in a longer learning process.

I found out that I grow and expand my mind much quicker through practice then through study.

– Barbara Pederzini

And here’s my takeaway for you. When you stop reading this, close your device and pick up an idea or a project you’ve been nursing for a while. Think about who you want to share it with and write to them. If you have nobody in mind yet, pick the smallest, most simple task to start the project yourself and do it now! You are enough.